See You Soon

He walks , head down, eyes on the floor
Only glancing up when his feet are unsure
Some youngsters knock past him, call him some names
Old Bastard, Grandad, the usual things kids say
He carries on walking, slightly upping his pace
His heart beats fast but it doesn’t race
for this old man nothing really feels alive
since his dear old wife of 53 years, Mary, died
he makes it back to the hole he calls home
closes the door behind, again he’s alone
Suffocated by the walls that keep him enclosed
he sits in his chair staring down at his toes
the sound of the church bells chime outside
the silence when they stop helps him to decide
that he wants to be back with his one true love
he suddenly feels liberated and free and cleansed from above
suddenly he’s not afraid,
the lonely numb state evaporates
he shuffles over to a picture of her and gives it a kiss
says a little speech and makes a wish
See you soon dear im coming home
hand in hand together in heaven we will roam
he puts on his best tuxedo and shines his shoes
combs his hair back then ties the noose
with emotion running through his veins
something he hasn’t felt for endless days
he takes his life and begins a new
see you soon Mary, I’ll be with you soon.

I Knew It Was Over

I knew it was over. I knew that I was trying to hold onto something that had already fallen. I could feel it but I didn’t want to believe it so I forced myself into thinking I could save it. She sat there as I explained how I couldn’t be without her, and if she gave me the opportunity, to show her that firstly, I was still the same guy that she fell for, and secondly, to show her that I was willing to do anything to make it work. I knew it was over. She listened, and nodded, all the time keeping me at arms reach as I bared my soul to her in that room, the room where we had many good times and spent the vast majority of our time together. She pointed out the things that had gone wrong, she said she believed I had changed, and she had lost ‘the feeling’ inside her for a few months up to this point. I looked at her as she spoke, noticing all the things about her that I always had done, Her beautiful dark hair, her perfect complexion, the way she smiled. I also noticed that the only real difference in her face that day was her eyes. Usually so sparkling and bright, they were now cold and I could feel that she felt nothing when she looked at me. I counter-challenged that with a question I already knew the answer to. Do you still love me? That was the single hardest thing I have ever said. When you’re putting it all on the table with everything to lose, you are trusting that other person with all that you are, and hoping to get the answer you wish for. She said yes and started crying. If she hadn’t started crying a small part of me may have thought that this could be saved. As long as the love was still there, anything else had a chance to be worked through. She leaned over to me and wrapped her arms around me, She said that she thought we could get through this, just like we had got through everything else that had come our way in the last 12 months. I knew it was over. I pictured us sometime in the future, walking hand in hand, gazing into each others eyes, laughing. I started dreaming, but that’s all it was, a dream, a momentary break from reality. Tears were shed, hugs were given, but it was time for me to leave. We said our goodbyes and I made my way outside to my motorbike. We had this little thing where she would come to her window as I left and blow kisses to me as I rode off, I remember thinking to myself as I was walking out of her door ‘I wonder if she will be there this time?’. Something so small became so significant. The bike fired up and I pulled away. As the bike rolled forwards I turned over my left shoulder, scared, Butterflies were going in my stomach, She was there, like she always had been. Initially I felt relief as I rode off into the darkness, but deep down I knew that the only reason she was there at that window waving me off was because it would be the very last time I would make that journey from her house to mine. She was saying goodbye to me, for good. I knew it was over.

Enough is Enough

She looked at him with little emotion, as if she’d detached herself from the reality of the situation. Since she was the weaker one in the relationship it was strange to her that she now felt that she had all the power. He sat on the end of the bed gazing out of the window, wondering what the problem was. She didn’t say a word but there were a thousand thoughts going on in her mind. She’d always promised herself that if the man she trusted ever cheated on her then that would be it. She could take the beatings, the belittling, and the bullying, but she would never take the cheating. She was worth more than that. She stood up slowly, running her hands through her beautiful dark hair, and closed her eyes for a minute. Now what to do. Take him back and accept his apology, or cut herself free from the man who had broken her in every way possible. His sorrys were weak and meaningless. She knew this from previous experience. Am I brave enough to finally walk away this time?

He turned towards her and grabbed her hand arrogantly,  like he always did after he’d done wrong. Gently he pulled her towards him, whispering sorry to her,  expecting she would cave in like usual. She resisted initially but soon relented and fell into his grasp.,  Then just like that she put both her hands on his chest and pushed him forcefully off of her. He stumbled, shocked and now angry. She knew what was coming but she didn’t care anymore, she figured she could take as many punches as he wanted to dish out because he couldn’t hurt her anymore than he had done for the last few years. His eyes glazed over, emotionless, like a shark biting into its victim. For what seemed like a few minutes but was actually more like ten seconds, they stood opposite each other waiting for the next move. He was waiting for her to start pleading with him not to do it, and to tell him how much she loved him and worshipped him. Seeing her begging for mercy was like fuel for the angry fire that burned inside his soul. Power and Dominance made him feel an almost euphoric sensation that he should, but couldn’t live without. But this time it was different. Instead of her resuming the normal position she simply took a step backwards, mumbling a few motivational words to herself. This is it, no more. She looked at him, an almost pitiful stare. The tears that would usually be streaming down her shattered face were non existant. The desperate voice he was used to hearing scream out no longer bellowed around the walls of their home. He looked confused. He didn’t understand. She told him she was leaving and this time it was for good. Whatever he was about to do, go right ahead because she was leaving straight after . It was said in such a way that he knew she was serious. He was still trying to work out why she wasn’t crying. Inside himself there was no chemical and emotional reaction, no anger, and no want for violence. This hadn’t happened before. To her amazement he sat down on the floor and broke down sobbing. The fact she hadn’t shown any fear of him took away everything that usually sparked him into the brute he could become. She walked slowly over to him and knelt down. Grabbing his head with both hands she kissed him. Goodbye to that life, she had left prison.